Shirley Jackson is one of the most prolific authors in the horror genre, known for her works The Haunting of Hill House, The Lottery, and We Have Always Lived in The Castle. Her stories are staples of the genre, and she has served as an inspiration to many authors that followed in her footsteps. Each year, a select few authors even receive the Shirley Jackson Award, which highlight authors who exemplify achievement in their writing of novels, novellas, and short fiction. She was an incredibly talented and beloved figure in horror.

Jackson did not live an easy life. She spent her childhood in isolation, spending her days writing stories to help her cope with the rejection she faced both from her schoolmates and from her own mother. She went on to marry a man who often cheated on her with his students and would tell her stories of his extramarital affairs, despite her disinterest in listening to them. Her husband also wanted to financially control her, despite the fact that her writing career was what was putting food on their table. She eventually mothered four children with him, and secretly began coping with her misery by abusing alcohol and amphetamines. As she got older, her physical and mental health both began to deteriorate; she struggled with crippling anxiety and a heart condition, which tragically took her life at only 48 years old.

Shirley Jackson used her writing as an outlet to wrestle with the anxieties and issues she faced on a daily basis. One theme that is present in most of her stories is the sense of otherness and wishing to belong. To put it frankly, her main characters are often young girls with peculiar interests who are misunderstood by the world around them. These characters often not only battle with the expectations placed on them by others, but they also sometimes are battling their own inner demons as well. It is clear that Jackson used these characters to express the desolation she felt as she struggled with her own mental health while still attempting to keep up appearances for the society she lived in.

Reading is incredibly therapeutic to me, and I feel most comfortable when I’m in the midst of a Shirley Jackson novel. It may sound silly to say that a horror writer could help you feel less alone, but that is the honest truth. I’ve always felt as if I was a strange person, to say the least. The characters in Jackson’s books are always rather eccentric, but they are so genuinely human and relatable at the same time. I’ve connected to and loved many of Jackson’s weird girl characters, but there is one book in particular that has a hold on me like no other.

The Haunting of Hill House is one of the most beloved haunted house stories of all time, to the point where it has been adapted into multiple movies and even a Netflix show since its publication in 1959. In this book, four people with varying degrees of familiarity with the paranormal are invited to investigate supernatural activity at the enigmatic Hill House estate. Throughout the book, it is unclear if the strange phenomena is actually happening, or if it is being imagined by the characters. The Haunting of Hill House is essential reading in the supernatural subgenre, but in reality, it is also an exploration of mental health.

The main character, Eleanor, is a timid woman who is desperate to find herself after spending years caring for her disabled mother. Upon her arrival at Hill House, two things become clear: one, Eleanor is sensitive to the paranormal activity in the estate, and two, she is incredibly paranoid that the people around her don’t like her. Throughout the novel, she feels compelled by the house, envisioning that it is calling to her. Her companions become more and more concerned with her as they begin to question if Eleanor was ever actually witnessing paranormal activity, or if she was simply suffering at the hands of her own mental health. She reportedly experienced a poltergeist in her childhood home and is the group member who witnesses most of the activity in Hill House. However, her colleagues become unsure if they can trust her because she seemingly lies about most of the aspects of her life. Some readers have argued that Eleanor lies in order to make herself seem more likeable, while others believe it’s possible that she genuinely cannot recall important details of her life due to her deteriorating mental state. No matter which way you approach her, Eleanor is clearly an unreliable narrator, whether she intends to be one or not.

After reading that passage, you may believe that Hill House is a story about psychosis or maybe even schizophrenia. And who knows, maybe that is the case. However, I very much believe that at its core, The Haunting of Hill House is a story about anxiety and loneliness. Jackson was an incredibly lonely woman who often used writing as an escape from reality. Loneliness haunted Jackson throughout her life, from her being ignored by her classmates to her eventual marriage to a man that mistreated her. Eleanor spends a lot of time throughout the book wishing that she could fit in with the others, and believing they didn’t like her; this is most likely taken right from Jackson’s own life experiences. By the end of the book, it’s unclear if Eleanor was truly driven mad by the spirits within Hill House, or if she was the victim of her own mind’s unraveling. Eleanor’s story is tragic, whether you believe she was haunted by Hill House or if she was haunted by her own mind.

I adore The Haunting of Hill House so much. So much so, that I have a “cup of stars” tattoo on my arm in reference to this book. When I first read Hill House in 2020, I was incredibly impacted by the book as a whole, but Eleanor’s story struck me deeply. I often feel as though I struggle to connect with others, because sometimes I am so worried that new people won’t like me that I avoid trying to forge new relationships altogether. As the story progressed and Eleanor’s loneliness became more apparent, my heart ached because I felt like I could relate to her. Ultimately, that’s what made the book so tragic and moving for me. Yes, Hill House does have some spooky moments, but I was more touched by the human experiences than the paranormal phenomena in this book. I’ve found so many of Shirley Jackson’s stories to be comforting to me in the strangest of ways, but The Haunting of Hill House will always be my favorite. (My home, if you will).

Thank you, Shirley Jackson, for always making us weird girls feel understood. I’ll continue to insist on my cup of stars.